Giving Feedback

Easy, right?

The concept of feedback is simple on the surface:
Praise great work. Address underperformance. Help people improve.

But in practice? It’s one of the trickiest things to do well—especially for new managers.

Negative feedback can feel awkward, confrontational, and emotionally risky. Positive feedback, surprisingly, can be just as difficult. It can feel unnatural or forced to look someone in the eye and say: “That was brilliant.”

But giving great feedback—consistently, clearly, and with care—is one of the most powerful tools in your leadership toolbox. Done well, it gives people clarity, accountability, and connection. It tells them where they stand and builds trust that you’ll always be honest with them—especially when it matters most.

What Happens When You Don’t Give Feedback

Let’s look at an example.

Susan leads a team of engineers. One of her reports, Ann, has been slipping. She’s arriving late, her work has more bugs than usual, and teammates are growing frustrated. But instead of being direct, Susan tries to coax out the truth gently.

“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”

“How’s the feature coming along?”
“It’s just been complicated.”

Susan pairs Ann with a mentor to help with a tough API. A week later, that mentor reaches out: “I’m trying to help Ann, but she’s disengaged and distracted.”

By the time performance reviews roll around, Susan lays everything out in writing for the first time. Ann shows up to her review looking stunned. She reads the document and says:

“If I wasn’t performing well enough, why didn’t you tell me?”

People Actually Want Feedback

It might not always feel that way, but it’s true.

People want to know how they’re doing. They want to hear what they’re doing well, and they really want to know if they’re falling short—especially if they have a chance to improve.

Your high performers want feedback, too. They want to know they’re valued. Don’t make the mistake of assuming they’re fine because they’re doing well. Like star students in class, they’ll start to disengage if all the attention goes to the struggling ones.

And for those who are struggling? Don’t wait. Be clear. Be compassionate. And focus on the path forward.

How to Deliver Better Feedback

Be Direct

“Ann, I want to talk to you about your performance. I’ve noticed a dip in quality and consistency, and one of your teammates has raised concerns as well.”

Be Compassionate

“I really want you to succeed in this role. You’re smart and capable, and I want to help you grow—but we need to address what’s happening so you can get back on track.”

Be Clear About Consequences

“If things don’t improve, we’ll need to start a formal performance process. In the worst case, this may raise questions about whether this is the right fit.”

Be Collaborative

“Let’s talk about what you need to improve. What support would help you most right now?”

Radical Candor

Kim Scott’s Radical Candor distills the feedback dynamic into two key ideas:

  • Care Personally
  • Challenge Directly

When both are present, you have a solid foundation for giving (and receiving) feedback that helps people grow. It builds trust and creates space for open, honest conversations—whether it’s a compliment or a critique.

This isn’t just top-down. Feedback should flow both ways. Great direct reports will challenge upwards when something isn’t working, and managers should welcome that.

If you haven’t read the book, I’d recommend it. It’s full of practical ideas and some hard-won insights.

Try This: A Feedback Exercise

Here’s a great way to get more comfortable giving feedback—with your peers.

  1. Book a session with a small group of peer managers.
  2. Ask each person to prepare one piece of praise and one piece of constructive feedback for each participant.
  3. In the meeting, pair people up. Take turns sharing feedback.
  4. Rotate pairs until everyone has exchanged feedback with everyone.
  5. Debrief as a group:
    • What was easy?
    • What was hard?
    • Did anything surprise you?
    • How did it affect your view of your peers?

This will probably feel awkward at first. That’s normal. But by the end, you’ll be amazed at how much closer—and more aligned—you feel as a group.

In Summary

Great managers don’t wait for performance reviews to deliver feedback.

They give it early, often, and with empathy. They celebrate what’s going well, and they address what’s not—before it spirals. They use feedback to coach, connect, and build trust.

And they do it because they care—not just about performance, but about people.

So the next time you hesitate to give feedback, ask yourself:
What’s the cost of saying nothing?

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