Managing Upwards
Upwards?
We usually think of “management” as something that flows downward—supporting, coaching, and leading your direct reports. But there’s another relationship that’s just as critical to your success: the one with your own manager.
How you manage upwards affects your impact, your happiness, your growth, and your trajectory. The reality is, your manager is the person evaluating your performance. You don’t want that relationship left up to chance.
As you move up in the org chart, your manager will likely have less time and more ambiguity to navigate. If you’re reporting to a CTO or CEO, you may be one of dozens of priorities. That means you need to own the relationship—not just expect your manager to drive it.
Let’s break down how to do that well.
Start With Contracting (Yes, Again)
As with your own team, start with a contracting exercise.
We’ve talked about this in detail in a previous article, but the short version is: get clear on how you’ll work together. Don’t wait for your manager to initiate it—ask for it, even if you’ve been working together for a while.
Use the time to explore:
- How progress should be reported
- How each of you prefers to give and receive support
- Where your personalities align or might clash
This level of understanding can prevent misalignment down the road and sets the foundation for a more intentional relationship.
Ask: How Much Communication Do You Want?
Find out what your manager wants to know, and how often. A few prompts to explore together:
- How do you want updates on project progress—daily? Weekly? Only when something’s blocked?
- What’s your preferred channel for urgent issues (e.g., an outage or someone resigning)?
- How do you want to be kept in the loop on team performance?
- Do I need to flag things like remote work, sick leave, or smaller team changes?
Also clarify the how—some managers want face-to-face updates. Others prefer a weekly digest. The only way to know is to ask. And if you’re dealing with a senior leader with limited time, picking the right medium becomes even more important.
What Makes Them Successful?
Understanding your manager’s goals helps you align your efforts.
Ask them:
- What are they accountable for?
- What metrics or KPIs are they being measured on?
- Are they responsible for a team, department, or division?
Once you know this, you can start thinking about how your own work can ladder up into their goals. Even better—ask if there are aspects of their role that you can start owning over time.
Things like:
- Running hiring pipelines
- Leading steering meetings
- Managing departmental budgets
This is a great way to grow your scope and free up your manager’s time. It’s a win-win.
What Does “Good” Look Like?
Ask your manager to describe someone they consider a top performer. What traits do they value? What behaviors stand out to them?
Do they favor autonomy? Frequent updates? Collaborative decision-making? Clear written communication?
This insight helps you tailor your style to what they appreciate—and gives you a clearer path to exceeding expectations.
Understand How They Evaluate You
Since your manager will eventually be writing your performance review, ask how they typically approach that process.
Do they focus mostly on:
- Delivered projects?
- Coaching and mentorship?
- Team health and morale?
- Hiring and retention?
Also clarify how they track your progress. Do they prefer regular updates from you, or a more formalized goal tracking system they can review periodically?
Once you know their framework, you can start framing your work in a way that aligns with it—and help your own reports do the same.
Make Your Work Visible
Visibility matters. If your manager only sees part of the picture, your review won’t reflect your full impact.
Don’t assume they know everything you’re doing—especially if they’re juggling ten other priorities. It’s your job to surface the right things at the right time.
- Keep a living doc of key accomplishments
- Mention wins during your 1:1s
- Offer updates before they need to ask
It’s not about bragging—it’s about giving them the context they need to support and advocate for you.
In Summary
Managing upwards is a skill—and one that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough. Too often, people treat it as a one-way relationship, assuming their manager will set the tone and clear the path.
But just like managing your team, this relationship needs intention, care, and clear communication—from both sides.
Misunderstandings left unchecked can snowball. Performance gaps can go unspoken. And your potential can stay hidden. Instead, take ownership. Ask the questions. Set the tone.
Build the kind of working relationship where you both win.